Lost.

I'm lost.
Or am I?

Sometimes I swear right before I go to bed I get this floundering feeling and I start to sink. I try to move my thoughts to something else, but I keep going back to that feeling. I can't place it. I think I just feel like I have been in constant transition for awhile, and I'm ready to be somewhere and have it really FEEL like home. I do feel at home sometimes-- especially when I'm in Ethan's arms. :) There, I know, I could stay. But, why am I craving this home feeling? I've dealt with change. Where's that strength that used to come during the transitions? I think.. I think I've lost my niche, and I need to find it again. I had such a sense of purpose throughout school, and I think I miss feeling needed. Writing has been helping me a bit. It makes me tired. Like now :)

Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm excited about it. Job interview in the morning! LSN dinner at night! :)

I'll figure this out. I'm determined! No more floundering.. I want to swim. Even if I don't have floaties!!


goodnight all. you are loved by me.